Favorite Posts

Below is a list of my favorite posts. These are the posts I read again and again during those sleepless nights when the terror becomes too overwhelming and my heart starts racing. For me, they represent moments of particular clarity, clarity which I need to remind myself of from time to time.

Hope Everlasting is a piece I wrote on the eve of my HIPEC surgery, in which I share my conclusions about what it means to have hope.  I dislike the way the word is so nonchalantly tossed about without any real thought about how frightening it is to have hope.  And yet to have courage and hope despite the fear is perhaps what makes life worthwhile.

I Am Lost explores the dark side of cancer.  It is a post that really seems to have resonated with many.

Slipping the Surly Bonds of Earth to Touch the Face of God (perhaps my favorite of all my posts) was written during a week when I was coming to terms with the passing and imminent passing of people I knew to cancer.  It’s about knowing when to fight the challenges in our lives and then knowing when to let go, about respecting the forces of nature that are much more powerful than any human being or any group of human beings.

Invictus explores the questions of why and whether there is a reason and purpose for all the bad things that happen in the world.  Smarter thinkers than I have considered these abstract and metaphysical questions for centuries.  This is my humble attempt.

Numbers Mean Squat describes my sentiments about my statistical odds of survival.

A Nightmare, The Hand of God and A Love Story recount the incredible story of how I was diagnosed with cancer.

Filial Love (Part 1) and Filial Love (Part 2) are about how cancer has affected me and my relationship with my parents.  These posts address the unique parent-child bonds that exist in Chinese culture and places them in the context of of an adult child’s cancer diagnosis.

Faith, A Lesson of History speaks to my love of personal history, in large part because my memories serve as the source of the faith I have in my own strength.  I believe that strength lives within each of us; it’s just a matter of whether we are willing to study our own past to unlock that strength.

No Man Is An Island is about the bonds that unite us as human beings.

Dreams Forsaken is a seemingly sad piece about the dreams that cancer has taken from me, but it is excruciatingly honest and through that honesty I find comfort and the hope of new dreams.

The Bliss in Making the Journey Alone grapples with the fear that comes with battling cancer, for the journey is and must be a solitary one.

The Art of Anger explores how I, in what amounts to an art, have experienced anger and the process of deconstructing that anger to reveal its true roots, to transform it into a constructive, rather than destructive force.

Moments of Happiness describes how I have come to find happiness after being diagnosed with cancer.

Deals With God describes my belief in God, the rage I’ve felt for him, the love I have for my husband, the fear I have for the safety of my family after being diagnosed with cancer and the deal I am making with God now.

Splendor in the Grass and Glory in the Flower speaks to the magic and power of our children and their ability to help us through our darkest hours.

Death, I’m Not Afraid of You is my attempt at confronting Death.

I’m Not Crazy is an explanation of why I believe sharing my cancer fighting journey with the entire world denies the cancer power over me.

And for some comic relief, read An Adventure with the Chinese Medicine Man.

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