Ghosts

I’ve been thinking a lot about ghosts in the last few weeks and more so in the last couple days. It’s part of trying to figure out what happens when we die. And that in turn is a result of not such good scans a few weeks ago and more recently my bout of severe diarrhea that led me to feel like death.

The PET scan was “mixed”, meaning that it showed some growth, some stability and some shrinkage. To me, it proved what my rising CEA had indicated – that the current Erbitux with 5-FU bolus injection is starting to fail. It certainly is starting to fail in those parts of my lungs where there has been growth. My oncologist told me that the “conventional oncological approach to a mixed scan is to continue with the current treatment,” which I understand; milk the drugs for as much as you can before they completely fail. So I agreed to continue but we also agreed that my next scans would be pushed up to six weeks as opposed to the usual three months. My next scan will be next Tuesday, an abdominal and pelvic MRI and a chest CT, starting at 7:45 a.m. I’ll know the results the same day when I see my oncologist so we will then discuss based on those results what awaits me next in the wonderful realm of limited treatment options. More