Lessons From Hawaii

It’s been so long since I’ve written, I fear I may have forgotten how to write. Thank you to those who checked in on me during my lengthy silence, especially the Astonishing Fartman, who left such a lovely comment for me on this blog. Incidentally, I have loved receiving all the personal notes and comments and especially meeting some of you in person; I’m happy to say that I’ve found new friends through this blog.

As you may have already known from Facebook or figured out from reading previous posts, I was away in Hawaii for ten days, where Kauai’s warmth, light and lushness healed to some degree my tortured body, mind and soul. I returned almost two weeks ago to deal once again with the mundaneness of life – going to Trader Joe’s, Target and Costco to re-stock the emptied fridge and pantry, cooking homemade dinners after almost two weeks of eating out, packing school lunches, engaging in the agonizing morning routine of getting dressed and dragging ourselves through the Brooklyn streets and subways to work and school, watching (or rather being forced by my husband to watch in my case) portions of the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament, catching up on the most recent episodes of House of Cards; you know, all the usual stuff. And then, there was the not-so-usual-stuff: the horrible jetlag resulting in the girls being awake until 11 p.m. most nights and me and Josh tossing and turning until the wee hours of the morning, and then jerking awake hours later to realize that school had started 15 minutes earlier; the stomach bug that assaulted Belle on Good Friday, leaving her to throw up on her and Mia’s bed and then, after I had cleaned and changed her, my bed too, all at 3 in the morning, of course. The same bug assaulted the rest of us the day after Easter with Mia throwing up five times in the span of eight hours. Josh and our babysitter had somewhat milder symptoms and yours truly barely felt anything, just some nausea and gassiness that could have been just as easily attributable to the chemo pills (or perhaps the spread of more metastatic disease). And throw into the middle of all that trips to the cancer center for an Avastin infusion and a discussion with my oncologist. How a part of me wishes we could have stayed in the escapist paradise that is Hawaii forever.  More